I feel I should clear up a minor misunderstanding in my last post. Post the last posting, I discovered that my friend’s immediate, and seemingly, flippant response to the question of understanding men, was not as it sounded to my ears and, probably, to your eyes. He doesn’t do flippant, he said.
Turns out he was being thoughtful, (in his own inimitable way). Who would know? When I philosophize, I wax. When he philosophizes, he apparently sets it to short and seemingly nonsensical musical ditties.
“One banana, two banana, three banana, four,” was much more of a relevant and considered response, than face value would lead one to suspect. Despite outward appearances, it held no supercilious nor silly intent.
He was simply quoting lyrics from the theme song of an old Hanna-Barbera TV show, The Banana Splits Adventure Hour, which expressed his feeling about alleged differences between the sexes.
The underlying meaning of the lyrics, my friend inferred, is that all the characters, no matter how different, strange, or annoying they may appear to be, are simply facets of one being. A “split” banana personality, so to speak.
We are all bananas. Aren't we?
If we weren’t already crazy, living in this world would drive us there. Short drive for most. To me, this planet feels like one big holding psych-ward tank of sorts. We’re all in this Mulligan stew together.
I think if we weren't a little nuts, we'd be feeling very out of sorts here. As the Far Side joke, where a man is lying on the therapist's couch while the therapist in the foreground is noting on his pad, "Just plain nuts," says it well.
There are just various kinds of nuts topping the bananas in the split. No phallusies intended. It's all one big get your just desserts kinda world.
So, my friend was apparently saying with his response, female, male, schmale… Who cares? It’s all the same. Two sides, one coin.
He doesn’t go along with broad-stroking summaries of anything. He wants specifics. Engineer brain? He’s an exacting, detail guy. I’m a big picture girl.
I know he hates when I quote the latest brain research to prove males and females are organically different and, therefore, view things and think differently. Roll of his eyes, or often outright contradiction, is what I get when I voice my latest studies, experiments and theories I've read or surmised.
He wants not to hear generic statements that men think or do this and women think or do that. He says, no. You do that. All women do not do that. Or, I do this. All men don’t do this. Or maybe he just wants to feel unique and unable to be summed up by someone's theory that's meant to cover everyone of his sex. If he is a puppet, he holds the strings.
Now, I don’t know about you. But, I would say,case in point to that. Men and women are different, different halves of one brain or not. He seems to be the left half. I’m the right. I think men get mentally mired in minute material matters, and miss the over-all meanings. They analyze components of a thing? We analyze the thing?
That's probably why they seem better at creating and fixing individual machines, but not as good at the juggling acts women perform daily to keep the overall machine running. So, I’m back on that one-track male mind theory.
I think genetically and training wise, women are more finely tuned into what is going on around them in order to keep everything running smoothly and safely for the family, while also foraging for dinner and keeping the home fires burning.
This to free up the men to sit around those fires with their buddies, popping their Buds, and swapping their tales of all those fancy/schmancy tails that got away, barely.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Two Bananas
Does anyone understand men? Anyone? Hands? Anyone?
Most women I know throw up their hands at this question, but not in order to answer it. More in baffled surrender. It even seems the older we get, the more we realize, we haven’t a clue. They boggle our minds.
Do men understand men? Do men understand themselves?
I find communication with one is often as allusive or nearly as impossible a task as a cat trying to catch a moving laser light toy. Are they just deeply mysterious characters, concerned with too many of life's important issues to be bothered with mundane matters? Or do we read too much into their silences, ducks and dodges?
I think we women over-think probably nearly everything. So, yeah, we probably assign to them all kinds of complicated stuff which they are never even considering. They probably just want us to stop talking, so they can focus their one track minds on a game, or some mechanical problem in their heads, or to go to sleep perchance to dream of some heroic deeds, or to figure out how to get laid.
What’s the latest study about the percentage of time men spend thinking about sex in a day? Something like every three seconds? I wonder what’s in their minds the other two seconds.
A dear male friend just called. He is a very mechanically and mathematically minded and very kind soul, with his female side quite well developed. He's a good teacher. He can easily and succinctly explain String or M theory to me, (though not what M stands for), and make it seem simple.
He's a computer wizard. The guy can fix any broken thing I hand him. Within minutes he fixed the juicer that had bellied up from my smashing too many carrots in at one time. He rewired his own kitchen. Fixes his own car. He’s a voracious reader of complicated sciences and and philosophies. A film maker. A photographer. Pretty good artist. A musician who plays many instruments. A composer. He’s a good carpenter. He even sews and irons. More than this woman is willing to do. If I can't spray the wrinkles out with water, I'll wear something else. He swears he cooks, too. Haven’t seen that one.
I think this sensitive, aware, well-read, brilliant minded, and talented Renaissance kinda guy should be able to explain the way men think and feel to me. So, I asked him if he understands men.
Yes, he said. He does.
I waited.
I pushed further. So?
He responded. And I quote verbatim, “One banana, two banana, three banana, four.”
Well, there you have it, simplified from the mind of masters... It seems they do have multiple track minds, after all. And that was a banana in his pocket, maybe four.
I think I have to go cook dinner now.
Most women I know throw up their hands at this question, but not in order to answer it. More in baffled surrender. It even seems the older we get, the more we realize, we haven’t a clue. They boggle our minds.
Do men understand men? Do men understand themselves?
I find communication with one is often as allusive or nearly as impossible a task as a cat trying to catch a moving laser light toy. Are they just deeply mysterious characters, concerned with too many of life's important issues to be bothered with mundane matters? Or do we read too much into their silences, ducks and dodges?
I think we women over-think probably nearly everything. So, yeah, we probably assign to them all kinds of complicated stuff which they are never even considering. They probably just want us to stop talking, so they can focus their one track minds on a game, or some mechanical problem in their heads, or to go to sleep perchance to dream of some heroic deeds, or to figure out how to get laid.
What’s the latest study about the percentage of time men spend thinking about sex in a day? Something like every three seconds? I wonder what’s in their minds the other two seconds.
A dear male friend just called. He is a very mechanically and mathematically minded and very kind soul, with his female side quite well developed. He's a good teacher. He can easily and succinctly explain String or M theory to me, (though not what M stands for), and make it seem simple.
He's a computer wizard. The guy can fix any broken thing I hand him. Within minutes he fixed the juicer that had bellied up from my smashing too many carrots in at one time. He rewired his own kitchen. Fixes his own car. He’s a voracious reader of complicated sciences and and philosophies. A film maker. A photographer. Pretty good artist. A musician who plays many instruments. A composer. He’s a good carpenter. He even sews and irons. More than this woman is willing to do. If I can't spray the wrinkles out with water, I'll wear something else. He swears he cooks, too. Haven’t seen that one.
I think this sensitive, aware, well-read, brilliant minded, and talented Renaissance kinda guy should be able to explain the way men think and feel to me. So, I asked him if he understands men.
Yes, he said. He does.
I waited.
I pushed further. So?
He responded. And I quote verbatim, “One banana, two banana, three banana, four.”
Well, there you have it, simplified from the mind of masters... It seems they do have multiple track minds, after all. And that was a banana in his pocket, maybe four.
I think I have to go cook dinner now.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Spanning time...
Well, to answer one critiquer (male), of my first blog, no. This is not my version of modern journalism. It’s my space to wax poetic or not so poetic, as the spirit moves me.
And no. It wasn’t meant to be a radical or angry rant. Just thinking with fingertips, talking to women, mostly… It was a call to arms, of sorts, yeah. But, more along the lines of start with yourself, inside out. Sorry for sounding not rad enough for you, though.
To answer the two writer’s little helpers, (both male), yes. I know today’s average human attention span does not have the time nor interest to focus on my three page spiel.
The second friend said he scrolled down and simply read my last line. But, said he loved that line and was glad to see my writing out there, again. Gotta love ‘im. We were writing partners once upon a time. I still rely on his humor.
During the years around the founding of our country, our attention span, I read, was far longer, enabling people to read, comprehend, and retain multiple pages of complex material. Today with the electronic invasion of our senses, our brains are far more limited.
And with our hyper, multi-task driven lives, we only have seconds to scan and respond to all about us. We are living on the freeways of our minds, driving defensively like crazy, caffeine fueled.
But, we should, also, be aware that multi-tasking actually decreases the brain’s ability to focus and learn.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2006/07/060726083302.htm
Look what it did for the guy and his passengers a few months ago when he was texting his kids and engineering a train at the same time.
But, who can stop multi-tasking? Info is coming at us from everywhere all the time. And we have too much to do and too many places to be at the same time. Who’s theory stated that two things cannot be in the same place at the same time? Guess we’ve proven him wrong. Digitally enhanced living.
So,we keep our communications in sit-com format. One liners. And emailed jokes. We are dumbing down ourselves one 10-second sound bite at a time. Texting, twittering and the wall quips in facebook, seem to force us into a fast, self-conscious, superficial consciousness, trying to out quip the next guy. And all at the expense of being aware of where we are and what’s going on around us.
We are so anti-zen today. Zen Buddhism told us, when eating, eat. When eating, we are TVing, talking, texting, twittering, et al.
And that reminds me I now have 40 things to get accomplished in the next 45 minutes. I’ll have fewer brain cells by the time I accomplish them all, according to that UCLA study I linked you to above. But, maybe that’s not all bad.
Maybe we lose some memories we didn’t like or some brain bits that kept us doing some of our more stupid learned behaviors. Must get something positive out of it. Maybe with all our life in the fast lane we are simply paring the brain down to lean and mean…
I’ll be back soon. Keep thinking…
And no. It wasn’t meant to be a radical or angry rant. Just thinking with fingertips, talking to women, mostly… It was a call to arms, of sorts, yeah. But, more along the lines of start with yourself, inside out. Sorry for sounding not rad enough for you, though.
To answer the two writer’s little helpers, (both male), yes. I know today’s average human attention span does not have the time nor interest to focus on my three page spiel.
The second friend said he scrolled down and simply read my last line. But, said he loved that line and was glad to see my writing out there, again. Gotta love ‘im. We were writing partners once upon a time. I still rely on his humor.
During the years around the founding of our country, our attention span, I read, was far longer, enabling people to read, comprehend, and retain multiple pages of complex material. Today with the electronic invasion of our senses, our brains are far more limited.
And with our hyper, multi-task driven lives, we only have seconds to scan and respond to all about us. We are living on the freeways of our minds, driving defensively like crazy, caffeine fueled.
But, we should, also, be aware that multi-tasking actually decreases the brain’s ability to focus and learn.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2006/07/060726083302.htm
Look what it did for the guy and his passengers a few months ago when he was texting his kids and engineering a train at the same time.
But, who can stop multi-tasking? Info is coming at us from everywhere all the time. And we have too much to do and too many places to be at the same time. Who’s theory stated that two things cannot be in the same place at the same time? Guess we’ve proven him wrong. Digitally enhanced living.
So,we keep our communications in sit-com format. One liners. And emailed jokes. We are dumbing down ourselves one 10-second sound bite at a time. Texting, twittering and the wall quips in facebook, seem to force us into a fast, self-conscious, superficial consciousness, trying to out quip the next guy. And all at the expense of being aware of where we are and what’s going on around us.
We are so anti-zen today. Zen Buddhism told us, when eating, eat. When eating, we are TVing, talking, texting, twittering, et al.
And that reminds me I now have 40 things to get accomplished in the next 45 minutes. I’ll have fewer brain cells by the time I accomplish them all, according to that UCLA study I linked you to above. But, maybe that’s not all bad.
Maybe we lose some memories we didn’t like or some brain bits that kept us doing some of our more stupid learned behaviors. Must get something positive out of it. Maybe with all our life in the fast lane we are simply paring the brain down to lean and mean…
I’ll be back soon. Keep thinking…
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Just thinking...
This being my first stab at this, I had, of course, gone dry. Then while emailing a friend this morning, she wrote that she thought it was good that we were not involved in politics. All the dirty tricks and back scratching that is politics, she sighted for this conclusion.
Well, the sewer doesn't sound like a fun place to play. Does it? Politics is not at all a clean sport. Better to be a lady and stay out of the fray. Rise above it, or ignore it and simply make our own personal spaces pretty and comfy for us and our loved ones, while all about us are losing their heads. And, anyway, we're too busy, juggling jobs, families and friends, health care issues, bills, aging and ailing parents, et al, to undo the harm done. Let the men fix it. They created it, after all.
But, I'm thinking maybe what the world really needs now is fewer women hiding. Maybe we need to step up to the plate and take the ball. We need to get in there and straighten out some stuff that's gone totally awry in the hands of the unconscious and myopic. Off with their heads. Storm the Bastille.
I think if women across the world grabbed their metaphorical rolling pins and marched on the economic centers of their countries, we could save humanity's societies and cultures, and the environment from those males who drove the bus off the cliff.
I love men. And I think testosterone is a wonderful hormone. Directed with love and good intentions, it creates and invents. But, it seems that left to its own devices and in charge of things, it can too easily get into destructive mode. Males seem to think the guy with the most power at the end won the game.
And I'm not sure what game they're playing. It seems rather a self and universally-defeating one that if you win, the game itself is left in shreds. And how many games do you take with you when you die, anyway? It's all paper and plastic.
Or, as we've read, this world is an illusion. Rabbit in hat. But, we slipped. We fell down the rabbit hole, forgetting it was just illusion, a game, and can't find our footing in this free fall state. It all feels like a mad hatter's tea party. Doesn't it? I mean they did take neurosis off the crazy list quite a while back. Didn't they? It's pathology against pathology out there.
So, we are simply projecting our consciousness on a screen that is this waking dream/movie and we are creating in our outer world the same chaos that is our inner life. The greedy have grabbed power in the absence of any over-seeing, regulating sanity, and given us their mindset as this alleged reality in which we find ourselves struggling to stay afloat.
Ladies, I think it's time to take our power back. We need to show males that cooperation is a much more pragmatic and healthier way to achieve a sustainable survival that is best for all. Real wealth is security and happiness, anyway. Isn't it? Money is, also, just paper, or a cotton/linen blend, that is. Either way, it all burns up and it all blows away back to the unreality from whence it came.
And how can one's own conscience maintain its joy, if all about one people are starving, homeless, sad, scared with bombs being dropped on their heads? Real bombs and financial fear bombs. Where is the guilt, the shame, the mea culpa? The epiphanies? The wake up call? The helping your neighbor? And didn't one our biggest heroes, Jesus, tell us that we are our neighbor, in so many words? You can't help someone without helping yourself.
So, let's start with making the change in our own minds that we want to see in the outer world. We need to buck up, bolster our courage and confidence, ignore the naysayers, and fear mongers who want us to stay down, and be who and what we really are to bring light to this world.
I think it's been men's fear of women's real power over them that has kept them keeping us in the kitchen, closet, bedroom, wherever they can convince us we are at our best. Don't worry your pretty little head, darling. I got this. Right. Right into the ditch.
We can still teach our men to live in love, peace and harmony. Can't we? We just have to show them the way, again. We need to let them know that the bigger toys do not the man make.
We've been letting them have control because they'd cowed us. They're larger. They're louder. Their weapons are lethal. They hold their Bibles out in front of them like a shield to show that it is our purpose, our lot in life, to serve man.
They've been holding all the cards with their delusional "it’s man's world" operating manual. But, this good ol' boys' club is going the way of the Edsel and the Dodo Bird. Our current economic implosion makes that essential.
Women create and nurture life. Women are life itself. Men are here to serve life, to keep it safe and thriving and evolving. Things have been running backwards too long in our world. And thus we've been down the rabbit hole with everything upside down. Just ask Joseph Campbell. If you can dig him up.
Start your engines, ladies. Grab your rolling pins. We're mad as hell and we are not going to take it anymore. And if you're not mad, perhaps you don't know what's really been going on. Each person can make a difference no matter how small the baby steps are. We have but to believe to achieve.
Then... a client called.
She listened to my theory and said, women suck. They're cunning, conniving and manipulative and backstabbing, she said. She prefers working with men. They're more honest and direct and easier to deal with. Hey, I've felt that way myself, as have other women who've told me their work place horror stories. But, is it just our never being taught to be team players and instead learning to see each other as competition?
I'm not going with that Eve, not Adam, introduced evil to the world story. Again, we have only our own minds and hearts to tweak to get our learned and detrimental survival mechanisms out of our own light.
Are we good? Are we bad? Or are we simply going with the flow, manipulating the sanctioned existing system to advance our own ends? Is it all a study in evo-devo? Can we be our own rudders or do we remain flotsam and jetsam?
Come on, ladies, join the sisterhood. We can fix it.
OK. I think we've got enough material here for future blogs... till then, keep thinking...
Well, the sewer doesn't sound like a fun place to play. Does it? Politics is not at all a clean sport. Better to be a lady and stay out of the fray. Rise above it, or ignore it and simply make our own personal spaces pretty and comfy for us and our loved ones, while all about us are losing their heads. And, anyway, we're too busy, juggling jobs, families and friends, health care issues, bills, aging and ailing parents, et al, to undo the harm done. Let the men fix it. They created it, after all.
But, I'm thinking maybe what the world really needs now is fewer women hiding. Maybe we need to step up to the plate and take the ball. We need to get in there and straighten out some stuff that's gone totally awry in the hands of the unconscious and myopic. Off with their heads. Storm the Bastille.
I think if women across the world grabbed their metaphorical rolling pins and marched on the economic centers of their countries, we could save humanity's societies and cultures, and the environment from those males who drove the bus off the cliff.
I love men. And I think testosterone is a wonderful hormone. Directed with love and good intentions, it creates and invents. But, it seems that left to its own devices and in charge of things, it can too easily get into destructive mode. Males seem to think the guy with the most power at the end won the game.
And I'm not sure what game they're playing. It seems rather a self and universally-defeating one that if you win, the game itself is left in shreds. And how many games do you take with you when you die, anyway? It's all paper and plastic.
Or, as we've read, this world is an illusion. Rabbit in hat. But, we slipped. We fell down the rabbit hole, forgetting it was just illusion, a game, and can't find our footing in this free fall state. It all feels like a mad hatter's tea party. Doesn't it? I mean they did take neurosis off the crazy list quite a while back. Didn't they? It's pathology against pathology out there.
So, we are simply projecting our consciousness on a screen that is this waking dream/movie and we are creating in our outer world the same chaos that is our inner life. The greedy have grabbed power in the absence of any over-seeing, regulating sanity, and given us their mindset as this alleged reality in which we find ourselves struggling to stay afloat.
Ladies, I think it's time to take our power back. We need to show males that cooperation is a much more pragmatic and healthier way to achieve a sustainable survival that is best for all. Real wealth is security and happiness, anyway. Isn't it? Money is, also, just paper, or a cotton/linen blend, that is. Either way, it all burns up and it all blows away back to the unreality from whence it came.
And how can one's own conscience maintain its joy, if all about one people are starving, homeless, sad, scared with bombs being dropped on their heads? Real bombs and financial fear bombs. Where is the guilt, the shame, the mea culpa? The epiphanies? The wake up call? The helping your neighbor? And didn't one our biggest heroes, Jesus, tell us that we are our neighbor, in so many words? You can't help someone without helping yourself.
So, let's start with making the change in our own minds that we want to see in the outer world. We need to buck up, bolster our courage and confidence, ignore the naysayers, and fear mongers who want us to stay down, and be who and what we really are to bring light to this world.
I think it's been men's fear of women's real power over them that has kept them keeping us in the kitchen, closet, bedroom, wherever they can convince us we are at our best. Don't worry your pretty little head, darling. I got this. Right. Right into the ditch.
We can still teach our men to live in love, peace and harmony. Can't we? We just have to show them the way, again. We need to let them know that the bigger toys do not the man make.
We've been letting them have control because they'd cowed us. They're larger. They're louder. Their weapons are lethal. They hold their Bibles out in front of them like a shield to show that it is our purpose, our lot in life, to serve man.
They've been holding all the cards with their delusional "it’s man's world" operating manual. But, this good ol' boys' club is going the way of the Edsel and the Dodo Bird. Our current economic implosion makes that essential.
Women create and nurture life. Women are life itself. Men are here to serve life, to keep it safe and thriving and evolving. Things have been running backwards too long in our world. And thus we've been down the rabbit hole with everything upside down. Just ask Joseph Campbell. If you can dig him up.
Start your engines, ladies. Grab your rolling pins. We're mad as hell and we are not going to take it anymore. And if you're not mad, perhaps you don't know what's really been going on. Each person can make a difference no matter how small the baby steps are. We have but to believe to achieve.
Then... a client called.
She listened to my theory and said, women suck. They're cunning, conniving and manipulative and backstabbing, she said. She prefers working with men. They're more honest and direct and easier to deal with. Hey, I've felt that way myself, as have other women who've told me their work place horror stories. But, is it just our never being taught to be team players and instead learning to see each other as competition?
I'm not going with that Eve, not Adam, introduced evil to the world story. Again, we have only our own minds and hearts to tweak to get our learned and detrimental survival mechanisms out of our own light.
Are we good? Are we bad? Or are we simply going with the flow, manipulating the sanctioned existing system to advance our own ends? Is it all a study in evo-devo? Can we be our own rudders or do we remain flotsam and jetsam?
Come on, ladies, join the sisterhood. We can fix it.
OK. I think we've got enough material here for future blogs... till then, keep thinking...
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